Laugh, Laugh, then laugh some more

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches. 
Alice Roosevelt Longworth 

 4-23-2010-8-6-2010One day you wake up and think you have it all figured out. Your job, your kid, how you do your laundry and clean you bathrooms.What side of the sink you put your dirty dishes in. You think you know the person who dreams next to you in your bed. The one you share everything with, the one you gladly pick up after. The one you reach for in a time of need,comfort or even joy. You thought you would spend the rest of your days picking their wet towels off the floor and wiping the toothpaste sprayed mirror and running home on your lunch break which takes 15 minute’s there and back just to make them a sandwich and spend 20 minutes with them because any free time you may have you want to be by their side. Just wanting to hear what they have to say, what their opinion is on stripes or plaid, bright or dark. You know every curve of their face, every mole on their skin.Every fleck of gold in their eyes. The sound of their voice..that seems to be the last to leave your memory. It remains echoing in your mind so loud you can’t hear your own thoughts. Reality and dreams begin to intertwine. The pain of knowing now that when you walk away they will not be running after you. To know you would have done anything,forgiven anything to be with them always. And in a flip of a switch you became nothing more than an okay memory to them. They don’t twist and turn at night.They don’t cry to the point of vomiting.their body doesn’t become weak and nothing but bones and flesh.Their thoughts are not of you every second.You suffer with the thought of never touching their lips with yours, they go out and drink themselves into a black haze of nothing and not caring what they do or who with. You drink to destruction all the while crying out for them. You were nothing to them, sure they liked being doted on, who wouldn’t stick around someone that was doing everything anything for them,Giving them all of themselves. It was probably flattering. All the while you sat there thinking you had someone breathing in the same air as you that loved you. That was in love with you every piece of you the good the bad the amazing. You were their everything. You thought they felt the same as you, that life didn’t exist without them. you thought they would always fight to be with you. They fooled you. Others may have seen it all along but you were captivated by all of their charms and didn’t see what was obvious to everyone around you. You are now left alone, tortured, hardened, on the verge of screaming just in order to kill the silence, just to feel alive again. Can’t breath, no longer believe, no longer hope, no longer think anyone will or can ever be in love with you or that you will ever find someone else you will be as attracted to and in love with.You are left in silence, tic toc tic toc goes the clock.You’re mind now wanders aimlessly, the only way to kill the stabbing pain is to run,run until everything comes clear even if but for a few moments..you close your eyes and all you are left with is their smile it warms you for a brief moment then you stumble on your own feet rudely awaken back to reality where your crazy love is no longer there  and you are still alone. Will they ever realize you were their one, their moon,their other puzzle piece, their everything..will they ever come for you..maybe someday.Or maybe that’s just life and you will Love them forever, your love for that person will go with you to the grave. Many people never have the chance for love so take from it what you will, learn from it, cherish it, grow from it. In Love there is also a time you must Learn to let go. If it was true and meant to be someday it will be. For now you must set them free.